ah life..

Warning: long blog with lots of blabbing.. I have decided to make my blog like a journal. I used to write in my journal every single night from 6th grade all the way through sophmore year of college. Once I got married I stopped. So, this is a way for me to sit down and write out my feelings. To figure out who I am and where I want to go.

life is good. Sometimes it can throw curve balls but then other things turn around. Iv liked having time to sit down and figure out who I am and what I want to accomplish. I did not have a lot of time to think of things like this before because I was always preoccupied with other things. I have realized that I am a much stronger person then I think I am. I have learned to humble myself, and I am learning to be less critical and hard on myself as well. Lately I have been thinking about ways that I can progress in my life. Here is a list of things I have been wanting to accomplish sooner then later,

-I want to spend my time being productive.
-I want to notice the good things in people and not the bad.
-I want to better myself and make myself stronger so that I feel more confident in starting my family.
-I want to keep in better contact with the people I love.
-I want to start playing the guitar again. I want to sing again. I want to dance again, and share those talents with others.
-I want to find some new hobbies. Maybe (I can't believe I am saying this) sewing, and tennis?
-I want to start exercising regularly (that always makes my day better).
-I want to become a better friend to people. I want to reach out for help when I need it and not be to proud to do so.
-I want to have a stronger foundation in the gospel. I want to learn more about the scriptures and about the history of the church.
-I want to be myself again. For the past two years I Have not been the fun spontaneous person I used to be. This summer I have notice myself becoming that person again and I am loving it. It is crazy what other peoples opinions and actions can do to change someone.

To achieve these "wants" I am going to start reading preach my gospel every day, and I am going to study my scriptures instead of just reading them.
I am going to start finding some new songs I want to learn and the guitar, and maybe start composing some songs again.
I will start calling the ones I love more often so I know what is going on with them, and I can build stronger relationships with them.
I have already figured out a lot of the reasons why I have changed my personality so much and I will continue to let it change back to how it used to be.
I am going to keep my thoughts around positive things and I will not dwell on the negative. I am going to read "The Secret", its a book that one of the guys who sells out here swears by. Its all about positive thinking.

I figure that while I'm out here with ben, instead of wasting my time I should be growing and learning. This is one thing that I have always loved. I love to learn. So now I am going to focus on learning more about myself and what I need to do to become a better person.

Sorry this is such a long post. I have never written a post like this in the past, but I am sure this will not be the last.